The Wind in Your... Gray Hair

Put yourself into the driver’s seat of your car. While you drive do you observe the other drivers? The ones that drive too fast or the ones that drive too slow. The elderly drivers today seem to make overly cautious moves down the road, causing road rage. The younger drivers get too impatient and speed around the cars in a hurry to get home or to a friends. You know you can get hurt anytime, but driving seems to become even more dangerous when drivers have slower reaction times and can get confused.

You’re 16 years old and driving in your new used car. Imagine, the window is so wide open that anyone in a square block radius can hear the Black Eyed Peas, Chris Brown, or Pink Martini flowing out like... music from a radio. You feel very lucky to have a new car. Your friends drive rundown grandparent cars that seem to be older than the bricks in the old warehouse. They speed out of town to avoid the eyes, while you meander through looking for attention. You’re cruising through the lame streets of your small town and realize something. You are in the nicest car on the most abandoned street in town. It would be rude not to speed. No cops, no pedestrians, hell...no cars! As you accelerate you feel the wind in your hair and the salespeople are staring. You see another car entering the roadway, a Plymouth (old persons car). They’ve moved into your lane and you’re approaching the slow moving vehicle, fast. While distracted and annoyed with the lethargic citizen before you, you decide to switch lanes without a turn signal and speed ahead. The little old woman is glaring you down and mouthing words. Old people drive too slow, they hold up traffic. Unknown to your distracted eyes and mind, there is a police officer about 10 yards behind you at the Hot Tub and Spa Repair shop. The sirens are on and the officer is approaching fast. Pulling over, you wonder why he didn’t ticket the old kook who was driving so languidly.

The old woman is driving the ’59 Plymouth. She treasures her car and the way she drives. But, she sees that young inexperienced people these days are quite impatient with her driving methods. Her favorite utterance to declare as they drive by is, “Young wipper-snappers drive twice the speeds I used to. I never would speed past an elder of mine. How incorrigible.”-With an added shake of her tiny, withered fist. She remembers driving this same street in the same car 50 years ago. The only thing about the street and neighborhood that has stayed the same is the asphalt beneath the car. The businesses are different, so commercial. The people seem more interested in their little devices than in family and friends. She can barely see over the steering wheel but she still reminisces about her teenage life here.

The kids were so polite, “Yes sir. Yes ma’am. You look nice today miss. The trash is out and the dog is clean as a whistle, sir.”

Now all she gets from a youthful young man is a, “May I help you with your bags?” She thinks: Hell no, my frail arms and small stature were made to lift big bags of processed junk that will kill me faster than the arthritis and kidney stones. While she proceeds to her car, leading the boy to her chunk of metal.

She only drives slowly because she doesn’t want to hurt anyone. She doesn’t want the last ride she takes to end in hitting a dog or speeding through the local school zone. Just the idea of having a ticket end up on her record is embarrassing. Her grandchildren will be driving soon and they don’t need to worry about their grandmother getting hurt. They shouldn’t think all old drivers are dangerous to their safety. She won’t give up on driving until she knows it’s time; meaning the time she no longer feels safe behind the wheel. And these young people are not helping to make her feel safe. Especially when they fly around her, she realizes why she is driving slowly. She does so, so that she won’t become that dangerous menace to society. But she also wants to drive at a faster speed to get home safely and see those grand-kids she so hopes will drive better than her. Being an older driver is harder mentally than physically.

As a middle-aged man, both aforementioned parties annoy me. Both are ridiculous at times. They worry me too, when driving my kids to school or soccer practice. The young drivers have no concern for anyone but themselves. I’ve seen many things while driving, many of which scare my wife and I. The kids will be 15 at the end of the month. This means, to any parent, the time to say goodbye to driving your kids in the safety of your car, and letting them venture into the real world. I just hope that they see the problems with speeding, and with going absentmindedly slow. They should correct themselves and never get into trouble. All parents hope that they are sending their kids out safely into the world. Obviously, it really is a life lesson: Speed or not speed?

Once again you’re the teenager. The officer is walking up to your car with a certain power in his hands. It’s no big deal though; it’s just a fine of a couple hundred dollars. That’ll be paid off in no time and then I’ll be free again. All this runs through your mind before the officer gets to the window. You are embarrassed this happened, obviously, but don’t care about the effect this could’ve had.

The officer berates you: What if there was a car in the blind spot? What if the old lady also changed lanes? Would you have had control? And if an ambulance was rushing through? Would you have noticed it? So what, I’m young and fast.

You listen with half your brain, while the rest is thinking about texting everyone with all the details of your run-in with the law. He hands you the ticket and lets you on your way, but not without a mean cowl. He looks at you with distaste and hopelessness. You seem to think, He’s crazy. I’m outta here. As you’re driving away you pull out your phone and text your classmates, filling them in on the events of the day. You tell them about how ridiculous it was to get called out by the “man” but the little old lady got nothing.

Switching back to the old woman, she’s glad the kid was pulled over and taught a lesson. The young people these days show what the rest will be like, and it’s very worrisome to her. But she also worries herself, especially when she can’t remember where she was going after being peeved with the boy. She’s driving down the road and cannot remember the destination. She knows that she came from the grocery store, but that’s it. All these questions are running through her mind: Where was I going? What if I hadn’t remembered which way to go in the lane? What if I went the wrong way, towards that kid? What if I crossed another lane, would I have been hit? Would I remember what to do in a dicey situation?

While the old woman thinks these actions through she slows down more. She gets more confused and disoriented. And, before she knows it, she’s run a red light. Although, it’s more like walked a red light. Which is still illegal, but more “her speed”. The police officer has seen her too, but the worst part of it? So has a school bus full of kids who were approaching that intersection she crossed illegally. All those kids have seen an older person endanger their lives, and they now have a mental image of elderly drivers. They see the woman being approached by the police officer. She stands outside her Plymouth, feeling all eyes on her waning skin and scrunched frame. She really could’ve hurt someone. She is now a danger to the pedestrians in the crosswalk; she is now a danger to the other drivers in the intersection; she is now a danger to her passengers, her grand-kids. The old lady is just as dangerous as the speeding heathen before her.

Driver’s young and old can be dangerous, but it’s all our biases that effect us the most. Young drivers automatically get angered with the slow driver before them. They draw the conclusion that they must be older because they are slow. But then again those of you older drivers seem to think all young people speed. Yes, both points can be correct, but when it comes to who is more dangerous; there shouldn’t be a contest. Driver’s young and old can be dangerous, so think your moves through and don’t drive unsafely.

By: Logan Geissler, Unitarian Universalist Church of Salem

Why I keep Coming Back

By: Ward Ramsdell, Head Sponsor Hillsboro - 22 CONs as a sponsor

When I left ContinUUity, I didn’t go straight home. Washington Route 12, the road to Cispus, traverses an amazing part of the wilderness north of Mount Saint Helens, with beautiful views over Riffe Lake and the Gifford Pinchot National Forest. It was at one of these vistas that I chose to pull over and collect my thoughts. I took off my staff shirt, read through my sheet from the closing car wash, and went for a short walk in the woods.

The fact of the matter is: I am an introvert. Although I enjoy social interaction, and my faith and values often compel me to work in close cooperation with many wonderful and talented people, being in constant contact with others for 40 hours straight is ultimately exhausting. I needed the time alone not just to process my con experience or prepare for re-immersion in my daily life, but to find my own center and bearings once again.

Integral to that experience was the notion, which I carried throughout the weekend, that the reason I stay active in the youth movement is because it was youth conferences that taught me ways in which to balance my introversion with my desire to effect change. It was cons that helped me find my voice, and it is now my calling to create environments that help others find theirs. Twice a year I am fortunate enough to participate in the process of creating a community in which all are welcome and received without judgment. It is an honor and an inspiration.

ContinUUity was an examination of the journey we’ve traveled together, and an invitation to discuss the future and what we want our conferences to be. It was timely; the conference covenant was formed three years ago, and the last of the youth present at its conception will be graduating in the spring. It’s important that their work be continued, and that while we strive to keep conferences relevant to the new youth it’s done with an understanding of the rich tradition that runs through their culture. It’s my hope that the culture will continue to be communicated as it has been in the past, through our words and deeds, the work of the Spirit Corps in particular, and of everyone who cares about cons. I also hope that we will continue to provide these more structured opportunities to review and discuss the covenant that we share.

I look forward, as I always do, to the next conference; the next opportunity to come together and form a community that reflects our values and which strives to include and give a voice to all who come. That community, as with all con communities, will exist for too brief a period of time before it dissipates. But, the message will remain with us: we have done this, we can do this, we WILL do this again. First in our own small way, then in the world at large, we will continue to live our values, share our stories, and lift up others.

This article is from CONtext

Life as a Dean... From Beginning to End

By: Elissa McDavid and Nick Toomey, Co-Deans

Elissa- Con planning:
Con planning is planning blindly. I mean this in the sense of- we don’t access to the site until the Friday of and we don’t have access to all of the youth and adults to try out workshops, worships, touch groups, essentially being able to run-through the con. There is a certain point in everyone- even for people so detailed orientated like Anne-Marie that you simply have to have faith and “make shit up” (as Anne-Marie would say). We as a con planning team had forces working for and against us. All of us were on YES team, which means most of us had prior experience planning or in leadership in general. But we didn’t have our first YES team meeting until mid August and that same meeting was also our first Con planning meeting, which in all honesty we didn’t get a lot of planning done. However that being said, through a ridiculous amount of emails, google docs and hours upon hours of skyping with Nick and Anne-Marie, we made it work.
I can’t tell you how much the con community means to me, and that’s why YES team decided to plan it and do this theme. That is why I was dean, because I wanted to make sure the youth are able to experience the experiences that I have had. We only had to hope that the things that we planned and did would create experiences and have an impact on the community.

Nick- Friday:
Upon arriving at the camp early, I had a moment to myself to look across the camp and see where many memories had been made from the prior years. I felt as though ghosts of people of con past were floating around as reality and my memory worked their hardest to blend together. As set up began and the crucial steps to get registration ready for many youth on their way, I began to realize how much it really took to have all of the needed Friday night con necessities ready, something that was just that way when I arrived as a regular youth. Seeing the Yes Team get their staff shirts on and their smiles growing really brought to heart and prepared me to what was coming. As youth began to flood in, familiar faces would appear and I’d get welcomed with huge hugs and screaming voices. At the same time though, the new youth were all faces I had never seen and would be leading the whole weekend. Come orientation, both Elissa and I had excitement running through our veins it seemed. Opening up yelling “Welcome to Fall Con 2011!” really set the tone for how we felt about being co deans. We had all the enthusiasm in the world and it showed as we got through the usually most boring part of con with what seemed like enthusiasm and surprise at the end when we tried out something new, the con sorting hat. Logan did an awesome job with that and I couldn’t have asked for a better group of leaders to get through main orientation.

Elissa- Saturday:
We were now in fully into the weekend. After the main orientation, we crashed. We had been running around the site since 1 pm. I remember foggily rising out from my cocoon of warmth from my sleeping bag and heading in the rain to breakfast. The morning seemed to pass fairly quickly- through touch groups and morning workshops, it seemed soon we needed to be prepping for main workshop. Before main workshop, Nick and I (along with others) felt that our community was not fully understanding the con culture. The workshop and this con’s goal was to learn our past- our roots, to grow and nurture our con tree, and empower the community. We have had a past of drugs, sex, and youth and churches getting hurt. We don’t want to go back, we want to move forward. Our branches of the tree, are our con values. We are a loving, kind, radically inclusive, empowered, open community. And when we are not, we apologise and forgive, because we know con is not perfect. Con had changed and is always changing, hopefully for the better, just like our faith, we are a living tradition. The community has the power. We might have youth and adult leaders, but really the ones who uphold the community is not one single person, but every single person. We had speakers from all generations from con speak about their experiences. The end result was a beautiful tree, our beautiful con tree. From 1900’s, to our present, to our future and beyond to spreading our love and kindness everywhere, not just isolated in con.

After the workshop, it was as if the air dramatically shifted. Our community got it, they got the culture. I have immense amount of faith in the future. Con isn’t just about this one weekend, but about the future weekends. Main workshop was just one of the many amazing things that happened. The touch groups, the worships, all of the workshops, spirit corps, etc. The no-talent show was great, as always. That night’s worship really touched me, before I had been feeling a little disconnected from the community, and from the worship and beyond that feeling completely disappeared. Later that night I was called into a CAC, all I have to say about it, is that I’m so proud of everyone involved and the discussion and work that was done. It was a good thing for our community and also an extremely powerful experience. I didn’t drop into bed until around 4:40 and soon enough 3 hours later, I needed to rise and begin to close our weekend.

Nick -Sunday:

When I opened my eyes Sunday, I felt like I had just closed them from the night before. After a long night staying up to watch the community while the CAC proceeded and getting the dance started the night before, I was exhausted. After getting my day started, I wandered to breakfast, got something to eat, and went on to announce the fact a CAC had happened with Elissa. This moment was kind of bitter sweet. Having had an awesome con so far, the announcing of a CAC wasn’t something the community wanted to hear, yet knowing it had happened proved that the new community was willing to uphold and take responsibility for covenant, rules, and culture. When that was all said and done, I finally went to a whole touch group meeting, which I had missed mainly for the purposes of getting a little rest during the prior days. I enjoyed getting a little more one on one with some of the youth and was happy to see I was welcomed in despite my absences. The day finished up with the car wash and wonderful worship that we had after, and I got to see what felt like a mirror image in many ways, of the final moments of one of the most important cons of my life, as youth hugged, wrote, screamed, cried a little, and enjoyed the presence of each-other for one last little bit. I watched and waved as the cars went away, and I smiled as I saw the last youth leave, until I remembered I had to clean up the rest of their mess then.

Elissa - Closing Thoughts
Nick and I both want to extend our thanks to Anne-Marie, the rest of the amazing con planning team and the adults and youth who took up any leadership throughout the con, to the sponsors for donating their weekend, and finally to our beloved community.

Remember to plant your own tree and let our faith, our love, our chalices shine, just like they do at con. We are the past, the present, and the future for our cons, our religion, for our world.
As Bill and Barrie said at main workshop: “You're not back into the "real world". You never left it. Carry on what you have learned this weekend everywhere you go, and the two "worlds" will not seem that different anymore”.

This article is from CONtext

Love is the Answer

By: Eric Brown Olympia Sponsor (and Adult Adviser)

I have been involved in planning two Cons. I questioned myself every step of the way after I said I wanted to be more involved if the amount of work , the sacrifice, the effort was worth it all the way up to the site.  The inner voice that told me that this was my last Con as a planner or staff stayed wtih me like a bad dream.

When I arrived at the site I sat with that uneasy feeling for a long time, staring blankly out the car window at the registration office.  I was the first to arrive on site, I got the keys to the site, went through the camp to open doors. I was going through this mundane task of unlocking doors to the Blue Room when it occured to me, very slowly, that I was being called to task.  

I was to open the doors to possibilities, possibilities that had no certain outcome, that were not predetermined.  I was called onto make a difference, to stand up, to being counted on, to be part of a movement, to allow people in and out of their own space.  I was facilitating their movement, creating
spaces for people to have community.  

I would be called, not by any one person but my commitment to something larger than myself. I would be called to many more mundane, yet entirely useful taks like carrying cups for water, picking up trash, smiling when I did not feel it.   I mattered in those moments, I belonged, I was community and I was beyond time.  I had no past, present or future.  In that moment I knew that all that the frustrations, the small injustices, the seemingly endless work load, the thankless tasks and the hundered of complaints I had swirling in my head was useless to the powerful feeling I had that I was part of something larger than myself.  I was part of something that would stand the test of time.  I was part of love.  I was the key holder and I was and will continue to open doors for everyone to come through. 

Look for me at the next Con: I will have a staff shirt and keys.

With love as the only answer,

Erich Brown
Olympia UU

This article is from CONtext